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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29031213">Calm down, tol birb</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohnoitsher/pseuds/ohnoitsher'>ohnoitsher</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Teba, the Rito dad [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hyrule Warriors: Age of Calamity (Video Game), The Legend of Zelda &amp; Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Link is mentioned, Revali is mentioned, Teba is a dad, Windblight Ganon is mentioned, after Teba was transported back to present day Hyrule, the T in the T rating stands for Tswearing, this is all post-AOC, what if the Ritos hopped up and down when they were angry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:14:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>611</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29031213</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohnoitsher/pseuds/ohnoitsher</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a lovely day in Rito Village, and Harth is a horrible Rito.<br/>At least, according to Teba.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harth &amp; Teba (Legend of Zelda)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Teba, the Rito dad [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2129823</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Calm down, tol birb</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>     It’s a lovely day in Rito Village, and Harth is a horrible Rito.</p><p>     At least, according to Teba.</p><p>     Ever since he came back from the past, he’s been recounting his tale of adventure to his kid, wife, and all two of his friends. Tulin believes him, but it’s more like how a kid believes in the fantastical stories his parents tell him. He’s not a hundred percent sure if Saki really believes him, but she <em> did </em> see the big hole in the sky, so he’s pretty sure she does. However, whenever he tells her about his experiences, she only replies with, “That’s nice, dear.”</p><p>     (Though, her response <em> could </em> stem from the fact that he’s trying to talk to her at two o’clock in the morning.)</p><p>     Teba feels that Kass doesn’t quite believe him, but at least Kass is kind enough to not make fun of him. He just smiles and carries on with whatever song Teba interrupted him in.</p><p>     Harth, on the other hand, is not as kind.</p>
<hr/><p>     “–No, you don’t get it. We know <em> nothing </em> about Master Revali–”</p><p>     “Uh-huh,” Harth muttered as he polished his bow, obviously not listening to Teba’s rant.</p><p>     “–he’s like, four feet tall, his ego is the size of Hyrule Castle, and he’s about half our age! I still can’t believe they let him go to war–”</p><p>     “Sounds fun,” Harth said with the same level of enthusiasm. By now, he was working on tightening the string.</p><p>     “–and worst of all, <em>none</em> of the history books mention that he was such a tsunde–”</p><p>     Harth jerked his head up in astonishment and fear.</p><p>     “I will literally pay you to <em>not</em> finish that sentence.”</p><p>     Teba glared at him.</p><p>     “Why are you glaring at <em> me </em>? I’m not the one who’s going on a three-hour rant on how he can’t simp for his idol anymore.”</p><p>     Teba sputtered in indignation. His foot started tapping against the floor angrily.</p><p>     “Shut up, birdbrain.”</p><p>     “Anyway, are you done talking about your dream? I'm kinda busy.”</p><p>     “Fuck you. It wasn’t a dream! It really happened, I swear!”</p><p>     Harth was getting way too invested in this for his own good. He set down his bow to give Teba his full attention.</p><p>     “Uh-huh. Okay, let me get this straight. You saw a big flashing hole in the sky and decided to fly right in without thinking, ‘Gee, maybe I should first figure out what I’m getting myself into,' which, not surprisingly, is the most believable thing about your story. Then, you saw Master Revali <em> in the flesh </em> fighting ‘Windblight Ganon,’ and you took it down with him and <em>Link</em>, that kid we just met a couple months ago that you unofficially adopted.”</p><p>     Teba’s whole body started vibrating up and down.</p><p>     “He needed a strong father figure in his life!” </p><p>     “And then, you stayed there for a couple weeks before getting transported back here, even though you were only gone for, what, <em> 10 minutes </em> in our time? And you think that I’m just gonna believe you?”</p><p>     “Saki saw it!”</p><p>     “Saki didn’t see shit.”</p><p>     “She saw it! Ask her!”</p><p>     Teba started not-so-discreetly jumping like he was on a pogo stick. Harth scoffed.</p><p>     “Are you sure you didn’t just hit your head on a tree when you went flying into the sun? Maybe this is all a dream from a concussion. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t see where you were going, considering that your head is so far up your ass.”</p><p>     By now, Teba was hopping up and down at the speed of a jackhammer.</p><p>     “I’ve had it up to <em>here</em> with your bullshit, <em>Harth</em>.”</p><p>     “Okay, okay, fine. I’m sorry! Now calm down.”</p><p>     “Don’t tell me to calm down!”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Gotta give credit where credit's due! Idea and some jokes from these blogs:<br/>https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/no-themes-just-memes/637141308216115200<br/>https://dreeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaam.tumblr.com/post/639355279241363456/teba-hopping-around-at-the-speed-of-a-jackhammer</p><p>Tell me if I made a typo or grammatical error.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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